The Saga: Part 2 - After Burn








I’m feeling a pain that has no cure,
for a decade and more,
without taking a breath and with no time to rest,
I’ve been running for sunshine in the sunless forest,


It’s getting harder and the maximum that one could feel,
hear me scream, it isn’t showing any signs to heal,
I can feel my vitals switching off,
my skin is ripping, the pain is trying to peel it off.


The floor is all soaked as I crawled into the dark,
these bloodstains are more, not just ceaseless marks,
the darkness is staring at me like a starving werewolf,
I don’t know what to do, tell me what I should?
the beast, in full command, came chillingly close,
helpless, my soul began to froze,
soon it ended my search for an amulet,
I neither find the luck nor the silver bullet,


I laid there defeated, my body barely moving,
my blood still pouring, from the hole that is gaping,
I’m feeling like a caged soul, "set me free",
I waited for the response, but there was endless silence,
and I roared heavily again, "shoot me".


The strings of fate are strumming hard over the fret board of time,
and some unworthy freak is singing the lines of mine,
I can’t stand this; someone take this virus out,
my head is about to blast but I know I have to last,
may be I’ve to bear it all, may be this is my only way out,


A full pint of blood dripped from my eyes,
now I’m all done after countless wasted tries,
I’m still searching for that one trait, one factor,
and for god sake, just let me loose it, I’m not a bloody actor.


I keep wondering what I’ve done so nefarious?
It has to be the destiny that denied the bond between us,
Now every song I hear reminds me of my time with you,
please don’t cry for me, I’m crying enough for two,


The sounds are killing me, coming from the pied piper,
but I have to move on and need to decode the cipher,
I know this heart desired for more,
more than one could ever be rewarded,
just stay in your world girl and don’t get me started,


This tale, no matter how wretched it may seems,
these dead letters can’t depict the real boulevard of broken dreams,
my soul is fainting trying to gather the remaining life,
It’s the aftermath, the saga of unheard cries.

22 turns in this roller coaster, yet...:

Creation said...

Ah! I see you've kept your promise. I'll be back to read it as soon as the match ends. Too much excitement to miss.

Hope you're enjoying too. :-)

Aniket said...

Kriti,

Too much excitement??

It was totally a one sided match! :(

Gags,

Nice squeal mate!
And I know this is something special so general rules don't apply.

But to transfer what I've learned over past couple of months:

Try and avoid long lines in poetry..
Break 'em down to short ones...
They give more meaning to word and small phrases that otherwise go unnoticed. :-D

Creation said...
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Creation said...

Aniket,

Well.. I posted the comment at 9:36 p.m.!! The second innings hadn't yet started then!

Creation said...

the darkness is staring at me like a starving werewolfNow every song I hear reminds me of my time with you,
please don’t cry for me, I’m crying enough for two
(Could totally relate to those lines)

You are right. The 'dead letters' cannot depict what one actually feels. But if the other person has experienced it too, then perhaps those words might not be as lifeless as they seem.


It’s the aftermath, the saga of unheard criesTwo words for that- brilliantly chilling. I've been there... know how it feels... and this line... well.. it sums it up.

It was certainly worth the wait!!
Keep blogging
Cheers!

P.S.:Err... I don't really want to say this... but some of the lines seem forced. As if, you put them there just to make it rhyme.

Gagan said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Gagan said...

Kriti,

Yeah, I did kept my promise :) but I'm sorry to say you didn't, for you commented you'll read it as soon as the match ends and see when you commented, 8:36 AM today :( :P

Gagan said...

Ani,

Thanks mate, point well taken and very much appreciated. Will work on these technicalities for my future posts.

Coming to IPL, yeah yesterday was serious disappointment.
I thought we'll see some firecrackers from both the sides but Mr. Murali had some other ideas :(

Thanks much for the visit :)

Gagan said...

Kriti again,

I'm very much pleased to know that you could relate to those lines. These two posts are very close to my heart so wanted to start off with these two. Hope you enjoyed the journey, 'The Saga'.

Glad to hear that 'it' was worth the wait :D

"But if the other person has experienced it too, then perhaps those words might not be as lifeless as they seem."Well, guess someone has 'something' to tell/share!

Thanks a bunch for visiting,
Keep in touch :)

Creation said...

Yeahh.. my apologies. The match proved to be such a disappointment that I didn't deem it correct to leave a comment for it would've sure sounded gloomy.

As for the soemthing... ask Aniket. He knows. :-)

Have a nice day. :-)

Gagan said...
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Gagan said...

Would certainly ask Aniket about it.

And that was very considerate of you to think leaving a comment after such a disappointing match would sound gloomy :D
Very much appreciated and apologies accepted :)

I hope we get to see some real action on the field today.

Cheers,
You've a nice day ahead too. :)

Little Girl Lost said...

gagan... your poem is telling a story, i only wish i knew a bit more :)
the compensation for heartbreak is that it sometimes translates into very nice poetry.
i really loved some of the lines (esp. i'm crying enough for two)
but i have a suggestion. may be you can try to use less words and more word induced images in your poem. and it may be a good idea to use shorter lines.
hope you didnt mind. :)

Gagan said...

LGL,
Yeah sometimes (most of the times) it does translates to poetry.

Glad to know that you loved some of the lines, if not the complete piece :D

Thanks a ton for the suggestion, point well taken and greatly appreciated :).
Still early days here, will try to catch up as quickly as I can.

Thanks for your visit,
always a pleasure :)

deepazartz said...

Hi Gagan
I see that you have started off well. Aniket's friend...so thought of visiting you..you know of his today's post about his well praised friends.

Hope you have a nice time blogging & make loads of friends:)

Cheers to you & your blog!

workhard said...

This is some awesome piece of work.. Filled with a lot of -ve emotions

Haiku Poems

Little Girl Lost said...

no new poems gagan? now that your buddy has introduced you, you'll be channelling a lot of public.
so please have something ready for us :)

Gagan said...

Deepa
I read Ani's post and I can't thank him enough for introducing me to such wonderful people.

Yeah I'll surely make loads of friends here and will be glad to have you on that list :)

Thanks for the visit.
Stay tuned,

Gagan said...

workhard
Welcome here and thanks a bunch for appreciation. Glad that you liked it.
Yeah 'After Burn' is filled with a lot of -ve emotions indeed. Guess that is what flows once you decide to 'Let it go'.

Do stick around.
Cheers :)

Gagan said...

LGL
So good to see you here again :).
Yeah that was very generous of Ani to introduce me to such wonderful people :) Can’t thank him enough for that.
I'm so sorry to keep you waiting.
Well, my next piece is on the way however, it's not a poem. Don't know how it'll go down with you. :S *worried*

Hope it catches one's attention, again.
tk cr :)

Yamini said...

Ouch.... that hurt!!

loved this line - 'please don’t cry for me, I’m crying enough for two'

this was indeed a beautiful composition :)

Gagan said...

Ya it hurts, and how...

More than glad that you liked it! :D

n thanks for your kind comment :)


stay tuned...

 
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