Don't take your victory for granted, even if you are on the verge of winning, ever.
Because, you might have missed out on the rule.
Serene air,
Fragrance of bliss,
Grace in his walk,
And a gory hiss,
Conflicting psyches,
He threw ‘em all,
Elegant, his walk again,
But fate, a self brawl,
Sweet intent,
All both could wish,
Pleasant venom-divine,
But a near miss,
Unjust decree,
With truth so cruel,
Lost the game, again,
Beaten by the rule.
21 turns in this roller coaster, yet...:
I read it once...
read it twice..
read it thrice...
.
.
.
.
read it for the nth time...
Seriously speaking, kuchh samajh nahi aya!
lol.
The fact is, that it is such an ecumenical poem that there can quite a number of explanations for it.
For me, it depicts a man's constant struggle against the stereotypes and deviation from all that is canonical but is outmaneuvered each time due to the established forces.
Nicely done, indeed!
:-)
Bound by the social laws... the responsibilities and so called norms. One always gets the urge to break free.
Great one mate!
And a great theme too!
Word Verification: pugalu
lolzzz
Kriti
Apologies for making you read it 'n' number of times :P
Must say, your derivation out of 'The Rule' was very close indeed. Very much appreciated :)
Thanks a bunch for your kind comment.
PS: Next time, will surely try to write a simpler post. :p :D
Ani
Yeah! No wonder you got the gist right on there, Mr. know-it-all :D
Glad that you liked it mate.
Though I still maintain, technically there's lot of room for improvement.
PS: Shorter lines do convey the message, and how. Aren't they? :)
Well done, you!!! This is indeed worth more than one read.
Aha! Now that you've added that sentence, the meaning is even clearer.
And in any case, poetry is what you make out to be. You don't have to 'make it simpler' to make people understand it, let them derive their own meanings from your works. :-)
@ Kriti:
Getting sympathetic to fellow hig-fi word user?? lolzz
Nope, not sympathy, my dear Aniket... just trying to reinforce what Eliot said in his Dante- "Genuine poetry can communicate before it is understood."
Aherm Aherm...
We can play quote quote all day again... Coz there are sooo many conflicting quotes!
"I do not have much patience with a thing of beauty that must be explained to be understood. If it does need additional interpretation by someone other than the creator, then I question whether it has fulfilled its purpose." - (Charlie Chaplin)
Brosreview
Welcome here and thank you so much for the appreciation :)
Stay tuned!
Kriti
I had this thing in my mind that - how many people would get the 'actual' gist out of this one?
But reading the comments up til now, I must say, so far so good :)
Thanks a lot for putting-forth Elliot's line there.
Totally agree with that :)
gagan- awesome use of short sentences! they make for such easier reading.
like Kriti,i too had to give it several readings.
Beaten by the rule... how often that happens to me... i start a struggle that i've already lost before i began- it's like, decreed, you know, that YOU CANNOT WIN!
loved it
Ani
Lolz, nice quotes mate!
both of them :)
LGL
Thanks a lot for your appreciating words. *8 inch grin* :)
I'm glad that you could relate to it in some way or the other.
Yeah, it happens with me a lot too, hence this post.
It's like somewhere deep down we already know that our struggle might not get us what we want but we continue striving for it, just to be beaten by the rule
Irony.
keep visiting :)
@ Aniket
Playing quote? Heavens! What a preposterous idea!
Nonetheless, thank you for mentioning that quote. Chaplin and you, together, just further reinforced my point.
@ Gagan
Weel, atleast you have great minds like us (lol!) who got the gist... nobody had the slightest idea when I wrote Eidolon Shadows and Nefarious Dreams!
Uaeinn!
Just kidding.
;-)
Glad to see the postive response here.
Keep writing.
Cheers!
P.S.: 8 inch grin? Do you happen to have elastic lips?
'Do I have elastic lips?'
Don't know :)
Okay, I'll divide that 8-inch-grin in 2 halves and give (a more practical) 4 inch grin to both my lips. :D lolzz
PS: Read 'Eidolon Shadows and Nefarious Dreams' again just now.
Hmmm, think I got a tad closer to the gist. :P
new post, come n see :)
Lol.. that was smart!!
Thank you for reading Eidolon (I'm tired of typing the entire name)again... Atleast you thought it was worth a second visit! :-)
crisp and fine....
the way you portray thoughts is simply beautiful :)
NOICE :)
Kriti
Eidolon is indeed worth a visit any number of times :)
Yamini
Thanks a lot for such an inspiring comment :)
Still early days here so a lot of technicalities-of-writing to get straight.
thanks 4 the visit :)
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